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So you think you can write humour?

by: Romany Howes (9 June 2015)

After a long and acrimonious divorce, a friend of mine treated himself to a cruise. While at sea, there was a wedding to which everyone on board was invited. When the bride lifted up her veil, he discovered to his horror that it was his ex-wife. In his words: “My greatest regret is that I never learnt to swim!”! Sometimes the truth cannot be made up.

We can all laugh at the intentionally funny, comedians make a living out of making us laugh. But sometimes the unintentional is equally good. Take these genuine complaints released by Thomas Cook travel agency:

  • "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."
  • "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."
  • "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."
  • "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."
  • "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."
  • "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."
  • "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."
  • "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."
  • "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."
  • "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
  • "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."
  • "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."
  • "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."
  • "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."
  • "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."
  • "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."
  • "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
  • "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."
  • "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

If you think you can do better, then write it down and send it to Writeitclearly.com for proofreading.



Views: 1163

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Comments...

Ref: 180 Ah, people - as well as being funny, some are seriously stupid.
Garry - 15:03 09-06-2015
Ref: 179 I used to refrain from complaining even about genuine grievances. Not any more. I will be vociferous in complaints from now on!
Romany - 14:49 09-06-2015

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